The Hoffman Chronicles, Vol 2, Episode 8: If You Seek Amy
The Hoffman Chronicles, Vol 2, Episode 7: To Moonwalk From The Heart
Whew, dear listeners! It’s been a long Monday at NPC Inc. and the special projects department is ready for happy hour at The Bone Zone. While they wait for a special DJ set to begin, our heroes take time to heal, drink and menace handsome orcs. As the masked DJ takes the stage and the music beckons our heroes to feel the beat drop and the jams get pumped up, is the dance floor a respite from the day’s work, or yet another trap??
The Hoffman Chronicles, Vol 2, Chapter 6: Showdown in the G Aisle
Stuart and Gerbbi are on a mission, dear listeners! They have five files to file to fulfill their final task of the day, and Mama Storybrook and her bored-to-death staff are all too willing to help. Can Agnes guide them via walkie-talkie as they fight their way through the interns? What is up with Dean, the Filing Machine? Can Maxwell keep Thaddeus and the hobgoblin headhunters from finding the last H&H book? Does Tory own her own walkie-talkie? I know you have a lot of questions, but I assure you the answers to most of them are in this exciting installment!
When The World Rolls a Nat 1: Coping during COVID-19
The Hoffman Chronicles, Vol 2, Chapter 5: Daves and Davejobs
Stuart is trapped in the HR dungeon, dear listeners! But at least he’s trapped with the strangely warm and gentle accountant, Dave. Dave seems great, right? And Stuart’s going to need all the help he can get as Dr. Gregsteen stages an uncomfortable meet ’n’ greet for Ted, the Perfect Employee. From the HR copier room, Agnes and Gerbbi plan a jail break for their IT friend, while Maxwell takes a trip to the basement storage with Jill Tan, the hobgoblin contractor, and Tory takes a well deserved smoke break. Can our heroes escape with their sanity intact? Will Maxwell fulfill his promise to bring Thaddeus the box of H & H Business manuals? What’s the deal with this Dave guy? Why is he so chill?
The Hoffman Chronicles, Vol 2, Chapter 4: The Randall Miracle
I hope you like improv, dear listeners! Because the Mercita twins are ready to spread the gospel of “Yes, And” and the employees of the marketing department are…sort of ready to receive it. As the terrible twosome teach, the rest of our heroes find themselves wrestling with the consequences of their various actions. Stuart struggles against the clutches of Dr. Gregsteen and the HR monsters, Maxwell reluctantly offers his service to Thaddeus Warman, and Agnes tries to embrace her dark side by bullying the salesman with a bad haircut. Will our heroes ever see each other again? Where the heck has Gerbbi been? Are you, the listener, ready to hear a mandatory improv workshop that somehow, against the laws of nature, goes well? It’s all here in this probability-defying episode!
In this episode
Maxwell teams up with the hobgoblins
Stuart is in bondage and loving it
Gerbbi desires a chicken parm
Agnes consults “Bullying for Dumb Dummies”
And Tory sees herself through the eyes of others
The Hoffman Chronicles, Vol 2, Chapter 3: The Two (Computer) Towers
Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes have completed their quest to tame Trevor the Troll and successfully passed out the new catalogs, so now it’s time for a little side business while they have lunch. While Maxwell, Stuart, and Agnes set out to check out their official offices, Tory and her twin plot to punish the marketing department employees for…not figuring out what Tory is supposed to have them do, I guess? But as our heroes spread out to take a break, choose desks, take some ominous phone calls, eat some toast, and play some games of “Tabaxi, Tabaxi, career,” one of them might be wandering into a trap…
The Hoffman Chronicles, Vol 2, Chapter 2: We Sell Smiles
The adventure continues, dear listeners! Our heroes have their marching orders from the increasingly militant new sales co-manager, Thaddeus Warman, and are off to pass out the new catalog/brochure/pamphlet/post-it note. Whatever it is, they’re on the case! But as our heroes draw closer to the desk of Trevor the Troll, danger looms and the grumpy, messy employee might be a challenge our heroes can’t “Queer Eye” their way out of. Will they get the terrible Trevor to try tidying? Will they all officially make plans for Wednesday night? Will they have any spell slots left after they start using them purely to mess with each other? Find out in this exciting episode!
Our Story So Far…and Live From F1C2E2!
Hey, Listener? Did you roll a Nat 20? Because you doubled your Bonus Episode damage! It’s…It’s a double bonus episode, ok? In our first half, DM Hobert recaps the previous seasons of Desks & Dayjobs to catch you up for our brand new season: “The Hoffman Chronicles, Vol 2.”****
In the second half (Start 52:30), we have a special one-shot episode, live from the floor of C2E2! Our heroes have passes to F1C2E2, and they set off in their best BatGoblin cosplay to seek a chance to meet George Clooney (who is canonically built into our game’s universe, somehow)! Will they navigate a line full of eager nerds in The Choker (BatGoblin’s popular nemesis) cosplay? Or will they come short of the ultimate treasure: shaking a celebrity’s hand! Thanks to C2E2 and Podcast Central for having us!
***If you are new to Desks & Dayjobs, and would like to learn more about our show, this is a great place to start! The first part is rich in spoilers, so feel free to skip ahead after the show introduction (End 04:45). Otherwise, enjoy DM Hobert trying to recap the last three years of gameplay!
The Hoffman Chronicles, Vol 2, Chapter 1: Cat’s Got Your Cat’s Tongue
Greetings, dear listener! Monday dawns for our heroes, and the dust is still settling from the events of Friday’s concert. As the Special Projects team arrives back at NPC Inc. refreshed, they’re quickly reminded that, yes, they do need to occasionally do some work. Can our heroes manage a task as simple as passing out some new catalogs? Can Tory, interim manager of Marketing, lead her department into their poorly defined next task? Will this mundane start build into an adventure?? You know it will, dear listener!!! WELCOME TO A NEW SEASON OF DESKS & DAYJOBS!!!!!!
Desks & Dayjobs is Going to C2E2!
Put in your PTO request and set your “out of office” auto-reply, Desks & Dayjobs is coming to C2E2! Agnes, Gerbbi, Maxwell, Stuart, and Tory (and the real people that play them) will be strolling the aisles saying “Hi!” and recording a live episode at 3pm on Friday, February 28th. Stop by Podcast Central (Booth #1677) to see the show and root on your favorite co-workers/adventurers! Buy Tickets Here!
The Hoffman Chronicles, An Interlude: Dating & Drinking
It’s the weekend, and at NPC Inc. romance is in the air. Honestly, it smells sort of like brandy and vomit! Agnes has gathered her four favorite coworkers and a selection of her most charming friends (and Reagan Longsocks, who grows on you) to do a little speed dating in their favorite dive bar, The Bone Zone. Will our heroes find romance? Platonic friendship? Someone they can at least stand to sit with for a minute? Find out in this exciting interlude to our NPC Inc adventures!
The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 34: The Pit & The Proscenium, Pt.2
It’s showtime, dear listeners! Satanic Panic takes the stage to open a rowdy rock show as their friends descend from the balcony seating to dive into the tumultuous pit. Will our heroes be able to “rock steady” against a grumpy crowd that’s unsure if this folk-punk band is to their tastes? Will Agnes lead her band to glory, or will this night be the end of the line for her music ambitions? Grab a shot of the famous Fantasy Chicago liqueur “M’lord” and enjoy this exciting, semi-musical season finale!
The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 33: The Pit & The Proscenium, Pt.1
Oh dear listeners, here we are at the long awaited Satanic Panic concert! The stakes have never been higher for our heroes! As Maxwell decides what to do about his entanglement with The Cult of the Blue Eye, Agnes navigates a chaotic backstage of gruff roadies, clingy co-workers, and a reunion she never saw coming. Will our heroes be able to make it to the stage on time? Will Stuart be able to fit in amongst some undead fans of a certain upbeat, horn-laden music genre? Will Tory ever get to smoke inside?? Find out in this exciting episode with consequences that will change our game forever!
The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 32: The Dual Duel
It’s mere hours before the Big Concert and our heroes are split between the green room at The Dragon Known as Lincoln Hall and the nearby country-western bar Possum Jones’ Bar & Grill. Get ready for some action, dear listener, as our heroes leap into two simultaneous battles: The Green Room Scuffle and the Barroom Brawl. WOW! Two battles in one episode? I hope everyone’s ok! It would really put a damper on the concert if half the cast died on their way there! Who do you think will be battle MVP? Maxwell? Tory? Thaddeus? Stuart? Gerbbi? Agnes? Hobe? Beardkowski?? Tune in for exciting conversational combat and maybe you’ll learn the true meaning of friendship!
A Miracle on NPC. St. 3: Merry Pissmas
Ho Ho Ho! It’s me, Santa Claus! I know you’ve been trying to be good all year, and guess what? You failed! But that’s ok, I can tell you really tried and so I have this special gift for you: another Desks & Dayjobs Holiday Special! Oh Ho Ho! The look on your face! You seem, happy? Confused? That’s ok! I think you’ll enjoy this year’s holiday party at holly, jolly NPC Inc. Our coworkers have assembled with a couple of special guests to exchange gifts, drink frosty beverages, eat ham, and honestly, talk about piss way too much. It’s a festive free-for-all once again that doesn’t end in a brawl, but briefly devolves into one. We’re sorry for the title of this episode, Ho Ho Ho!
The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 31: Perception is a Skill
Ding Dong, that’s the bell that signifies the work day is over, dear listener! There’s not an actual bell in the episode, but I thought you might enjoy the flood of school memories. Did your school have the rectangle pizza? I wonder if it’s as good as I remember it being. Anyhoo, back to our tale of a Friday night, a concert, and five co-workers on a quest to have some fun and tie up some loose ends from a week of questing. As out heroes prepare for the night, hard decisions are made, hearts are broken, hairstyles are changed, and there’s almost a robbery. It pretty much goes off the rails immediately. Can our heroes get their gear to The Dragon Known as Lincoln Hall and enjoy some pregame drinks with some upper-management heroes? Or does danger (in the form of uncomfortable conversations) lurk around every corner?
The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 30: Whistle While You Run
Our heroes are still cast to the wind like so much…seeds, or whatever, as their work day is starting to come to a close. Maxwell takes some time to enjoy his delicious lunch at Kirin Sushi with Felix Fox and talks about his options/Dragon Ball Z, Agnes and Gerbbi take on an easy task, Tory makes a phone call, and Stuart sneaks deeper into Gemstone Designs. Pretty easy adventures, right? Wrong! Traps, contracts, intense security guards, executives, and a really pissed off CEO stand in the way of our heroes and their quest to “work for the weekend.” Can our heroes reunite in time for their Friday night festivities? And when they finally do, will they still be a team, or are the forces around them turning heroes against each other?
The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 29: Aloha Means “I Love You”
It’s lunchtime, dear listener, and our heroes have successfully thrown a birthday party for Loro McMorgan, the most popular goblin on the sales floor. With victory in their hearts and Hawaiian food in their stomaches they take the lunch break to do some adventuring on their own. Agnes, with some supernatural help and Tory in tow, sets out to deliver a reminder of happier times to Mama Storybrook, only to find the past is a prickly subject for the menacing matriarch. Stuart takes a trip to Gemstone Designs to deliver Pam’s letter, but finds a horde of designer kobolds and an eerie security kiosk in his way. Finally, Maxwell meets with the mysterious voice from the hotline, only to find that the Cult of the Blue Eye has more than sushi waiting for him for lunch. Oh, I almost forgot Gerbbi! Gerbbi does his Gerbbi thing.
Deco & Demons: It’s The 1920’s
